In a small, rugged valley just outside of Louisville, adjacent to the railroad tracks, seven souls gathered for week Zero of the IronPAX challenge. Each year, a select few warriors seek to push themselves in a challenge of combined strength, endurance, and camaraderie. This time, they committed to a workout designed to push them to their limits: thrusters and burpees, and burpees and thrusters, and a 400m run to break up the monotony.
The cold gray light of dawn shown upon them, and the gloom had settled in when the seven warriors assembled in a clearing. They wore their battle gear—gloves, coupons, and determined expressions. The leader, One Star, a meager, unassuming, but formidable figure, stepped forward and explained the challenge.
Precisely at 5:30AM, in the glow of the recently repaired street lamp, One Star stepped from the shadows and summoned the AI disclaimer from the Turtlebox speaker.
“Today we begin week Zero of the Iron PAX Challenge,” bellowed the speakers, “thrusters and burpees on repeat…EMOM. Push your limits, but remember, you are not alone. We face this challenge together.”
With a nod, the 7 assumed their positions and awaited the command. One Star signaled the start, and the warriors began with 5 burpees followed by thrusters—squatting low, then thrusting a heavy load high overhead. Their muscles burned, but they powered through, their breaths coming in heavy, rhythmic bursts as the sweat pooled beneath them.
As the minutes ticked away, they transitioned to 5 thrusters followed by burpees…EMOM. The move was simple yet grueling: a drop to the ground, a push-up, a jump back up, and a leap into the air. They repeated the sequence, sweat streaming down their faces, each warrior’s resolve being tested.
Through the exhaustion, they encouraged one another. Big Bird, one of the fiercest of the group, shouted words of motivation. Holy roller, known for his endurance, matched his pace, and silently motivated the small group with his resolve. The others, too, found strength in each other’s presence.
As the final repetitions approached, the intensity reached its peak, and they felt the early stages of rhabdo creeping in. Their movements grew more labored, their breaths more exhaustive, but they refused to falter. When the last rep was completed, they collapsed into a heap, breathing heavily but with wry smiles of triumph on their faces.
The challenge had been completed, not just by individual strength but by the collective will of the group. They stood together, united by their shared effort, knowing they had pushed their limits and emerged stronger.
They finished the challenge early, with 5 minutes remaining. Their reward? An enthusiastic five minutes of Mary. A warriors work is never done.
Their village celebrated them with celebratory shout outs on the Slack channel and encouraging emoji’s…both memorializing their accomplishments. However, it was the satisfaction of overcoming week 0 of the IronPAX challenge that they cherished most. The warriors knew that the true victory lay not in the completion of the workout, but in the bond they had strengthened through it.
Their celebration was brief however, because the Savage 7 knew what lay ahead: four more grueling weeks. The end of this battle was just the beginning of their journey.
As they collected their battle gear, they circled up one last time before parting ways. “Our Father, who art in heaven” they began, and then they continued to pray over each other. They offered blessings and prayers for those in their village who needed it most. With a final “Amen,” and a few fist bumps, they parted ways and walked back to their horseless carriages which would safely return them to their homesteads to rest and recover in preparation for next weeks battle.
F3 Louisville 