QIC: Captain Insane-o
Pax (21, 1 FNG): Cutlass, Glenn Ross, OJ, Tron, Vincent (respect), Sully, Cardinal, Nugget, Seabass, Red Roof, Wham!, Scratch, Bean Counter, Mayberry, Loco, Trump, Zoolander (love seeing this guy come to the O), Diablo, Quimby (love seeing this guy come to the O), CI, Gillespie (FNG, hide your booze and girlfriends)
I really tried to make it cerebral and high-brow; even civilized. But my inner-insane-o wouldn’t let that stand. Plus, the Pax did not study the pre-blast. Needless to say, things got ugly. For those of you following along, I strongly encouraged the Pax to read my Pre-blast; all of it. The key was the caption at the bottom on the .gif of the Riddler. Cutlass, being brave, assured the Pax he studied and read the whole thing. But when it came time to answer the Q’s question, he totally and completely whiffed.
So, no COP, no warm-up. Just 25 burpees to start. Had they only paid closer attention instead of searching the Internet for the answer. I finished early and readied my Good Time Sound Machine so we had music the entire time (that Loco really disliked), which would become important later (remember, there were riddles). We counted off: 21. 1 FNG, 1 Pax recovering from some knee stuff, so I asked the Pax to grab 9 coupons. That seemed fair(ish). Then, I told them we were running to Big Rock Park. I didn’t hear it at the time, but this is when the most accurate statement ever made by a guy named Trump was uttered:
“This is the dumbest thing we’ve ever done.”
Big Rock Park is 1.3 miles away from our start point. It sits at an elevation of 139 meters. We start at an elevation of 165 meters. 9 coupons, 21 Pax and a blazing F3 Flag. We’ve never done this before, and we’d have to make that 1.3 mile run back up that hill to return the coupons. Again, this would be important later.
Photo courtesy of Wham!
So the CSAUP started, and kept going and kept going. It was dark and I was out front. Being a good Q, I circled back for the six while the guys took a breather for SSHs. As I rolled back, Quimby warned, “There’s a lot of f&ck YOUs (he pointed at my chest) back there.” I steadied myself and grabbed a coupon from a tired Pax, put my head down and ran (shuffled).
We made it to Big Rock, and then I broke out my weinke in the parking lot. 😐
Thang 1
6 cones. Isolation exercises (important later; riddles)
1. Single leg squats or pistol squats. 10 each leg. Bear crawl to next station to release.
2. Single arm coupon rows. 5 per till relieved. Bear crawl to next station
3. One armed side plank. Leg up if you can. Switch sides after 10 sec. til relieved. Bear crawl to next station
4. One arm coupon thrusters or squats. 5 then switch. til relieved. Bear crawl to next station
5. Lunges. 5 then switch. til relieved. Bear crawl to next station
6. One legged Merkins. 5 each leg. Switch till relieved.
Bear crawl back to one.
Thang 2
Broke down burpees (isolated movements). Ascending count 1-5. So start with 1 on first set, 2 on second, 3 on third, etc.
1. Squat.
2. Plank thrust
3. Merkin
4. Plank thrust
5. Squat jump with clap
6. Full Burpee
Then, mosey back to shovel flag. Look, the pace was slow. And this was dumb and hard. But I saw more teamwork and encouragement than I’ve seen in a workout. Guys were digging deep and helping each other. We made it back. The uphill was brutal. There were waaaay less f&ck yous (no one could breath). Tclaps to Vincent, Red Roof, Mayberry, Diablo and others for circling back to the six.
Then, it was time to answer my riddles. Who thinks the Pax got them? Raise your hand. They got 2 of 3 (probably 3 of 3, but just a tip, we were going to do burpees anyway even if they passed with flying colors), so we did 35 more burpees before time. Here are the answers:
What sings with a million voices, but has no ears: My speaker that played the entire workout
Like a bicycle, you never forget, but unlike a bicycle it’s more difficult the next time. What is it? The coupon mosey out and back.
What’s isolated but never alone? Any of the thangs that worked on isolation movements but with your brothers.
We circled up. COR, NOR. Welcome Gillespie. I, along with a number of the Pax, have been trying to headlock this guy for months. Glad he came. Sully called 6 and explained that he’s a pilot a damn good one too, not just any geek off the street. We announced our St. John’s Ctr workout on Nov. 4 (all AOs are also live) and that Movember Challenge starts this week. Red Roof had the winning suggestion. We said a prayer for a close friend who is gravely ill. I closed it out. I asked the Pax to think about what they just did, to be thankful for the ability to do it, but also to reflect on it when things seem hard. This was hard. All that other stuff is cake.
Coffeteria at Heine with some Mutts, who did, in fact, Prancerscize.
CI out.
Tclaps to the Pax for finishing their burpees! I saw you.
F3 Louisville 