In the rolling hills of The County the locals knew that St. Aloysius Church was more than a place of worship; it was a beacon of hope and unity, and home to a select group of warriors. Seven men forged by fire, strong as iron, whose strength grew through Fellowship when they joined together as the PAX.
When a dark prophecy foretold the rise of an ancient evil that would lay waste to The County and desecrate the church, the people of Pewee Valley were plunged into despair. The prophecy spoke of a trial lasting four weeks, during which the Savage 7 warriors would need to confront the darkness and save their land.
The warriors answered the call, each bearing a unique strength and unwavering resolve. Their names were DeVitto, the stalwart knight; Little Jerry, the mystical sorcerer; Dauber, the indomitable berserker; McStuffins, the agile scout; Double Pump, the cunning rogue; Double Down, the archer; and One Star, the wise bard.
The challenge began as an ominous gloom enveloped The County, and the dew settled low on the fields, bringing with it the World’s Toughest 11’s: thrusters, hand release-merkins, and various 30-yard traverses, including an unlucky fluffle of bunnies who were murdered and laid to waste, only to endure a “reverse” curse, which would mercilessly resurrect them, only to murder them and lay them to waste once more.
The first week was marked with 11 small battles and burpees every 4 minutes. “Is it really an EMOM, if it’s only every 4 minutes?” One Star inquired. Even the wise old bard couldn’t resolve that discrepancy as the battle began in the gloom at 5:30 with a bellowing disclaimer from the TurtleBox speaker.
DeVitto, clad in his trademark sleeveless cotton armor and wielding his arm cannons, led the charge. His unyielding bravery inspired the PAX, rallying them forward through Week 1 of the IronPAX challenge.
Little Jerry’s magic, drawn from ancient runes, created protective barriers and dispelled the doubt that threatened The County. His mystical breaths refracted light in the glow of the street lamps and illuminated the path for the other warriors.
Dauber, with his rage-fueled might, tore through all 11’s. His ferocity ensured that the darkness was kept at bay while his comrades completed their required repetitions.
Double Down’s archery skills were unparalleled. From the shadows of the forest, he picked off each exercise with deadly precision, his form never missing its mark. A model of consistency that the PAX could aspire to become. “Respect, respect” they chanted.
McStuffins’ keen auditory capabilities made him invaluable for identifying when burpees were near, every 4 minutes on the minute. “EMOMs Every 4 minutes?” One Star remained perplexed despite his immutable wisdom.
Double Pump’s rogue skills allowed him to use his stealth to gather crucial intelligence from the whiteboard. His cunning was pivotal in keeping the PAX on track for the demanding sections of 30-yard traverses. With his guidance, the PAX were able to navigate thru bears crawling in the County, tactical sections requiring lunges, elements of burpee broad jumps, and murdered bunnies. Yes, bunnies were harmed.
One Star, the bard, used his songs to boost morale and protect his comrades. His music provided solace and strength, turning the tide of the 11 battles with his inspiring melodies.
After an intense struggle, the PAX were able to conquer the World’s Toughest 11’s. Finally, the week 1 challenge was complete, and the seven warriors stood victorious in their Circle of Trust. The county was saved, and St. Aloysius Church remained a symbol of hope and resilience. The people of Pewee Valley celebrated their heroes, who had faced insurmountable odds and emerged triumphant.
Their bravery and unity became legendary, ensuring that the story of the seven warriors would be told for generations as a testament to the strength that arises when Fitness, Faith, and Fellowship combine to overcome the world’s toughest of challenges.
F3 Louisville 