I had this Q on my calendar for a couple months, knowing that “never miss a Monday” would converge with the day I planned on completing my first (of two) five-decade blocks of life. The Patriot AO, and all those HIM who frequent the joint, provided the perfect venue to assure my foot would remain solidly mashed down on the accelerator.
Got there a bit early to mark off 50 yards of concrete hurt in the big parking lot adjacent to Heartbreak Hill. Also dropped off the “flexi-weinke” (I had a series of ideas written down, deciding to let the morning unfold organically… pick & choose as we progressed, based on what type of cruelty I felt the Pax yearned for). Anyway, back to the Patriot Statue and shovel flags to greet the 17 gloom-dwellers (including an FNG) who came from near and far. Offered a solemn salute to all the Fathers Day Dads who dutifully shepherd their 2.0s through this crazy fallen world. Did disclosures and then off to the races: Snapped off 50+ SSHs, Down-Dog Stretches, etc. Mosey w/ coupons to the Lot for….
The cones were positioned to go downhill for 50 yards, then back up for 50 yards. This was a metaphor for the “easier” (downhill) first half of life and then the more challenging uphill 50…when it’s often a greater effort to stay fit, uninjured, and heathy. (I never understood the “over the hill” concept…ain’t none of us coasting past 50). Anyway, first trip down was Rifle-Carry Lunges x 5, then a Man-Maker, then repeat for the 100 yard circuit. Next we did a group Bear-Crawl Indian Run down and back 50+50, with Pax lined up in plank position until passed, then as the Six pealed off the back, he would join a continuous advancing/passing line to get to the front (on all fours). Yes, I know what you’re thinking: “Huh?” It may be hard to picture, so imagine this: It ended up looking like someone accidentally stepped on an ant hill with half the ants immediately going into a coma, and the other half becoming very confused, severely wounded, and wishing desperately that they could either join the coma-ants…or just keel over and die. Yeah, that’s about right. Next exercise was 50 Sq-urls (coupon squats + curls). Then 50 of something else fun (I forget because I was too busy jamming to Led Zeppelin’s “When the Levee Breaks”). Then, I think we did 50 coupon pull-through ‘Merkins. Then, 50 x 4-count Flutters. Then 50 “pass the coupon” back-to-back with a partner. Then we all moseyed down to the bottom of Heartbreak Hill for an all-out gallop back to the top. Then, what fun would it be without 50 yards of Murder-Bunnies? Seems like we ended the WO with some ab & core work, but by then I was just trying to stave off mutiny.
COT: COR/NOR (YHC inducted into the “R” Clan). We welcomed FNG TrapperKeeper (invited by Col. Klink), who put in an awesome first effort. Announced the announcements and expressed prayers, intentions, and gratitudes for that which we are entrusted to protect, those brothers in our midst, their families, their communities, their lives, and all that was left unspoken. Thanks y’all for coming out to celebrate with me…it meant a lot and you are truly HIM. –Kitty Litter–