As I turned from First Ave. onto Main Street in the Hallmark Channel-esque town of Lagrange, Kentucky, I first spotted Swag’s headlights glowing ITG. A few PAX were milling about the square as Patriot OG’s and newbies alike filled the sidewalk. I set my coupon in the unofficial QIC position (9 o’clock position in the circle, or West South West). Mumblechatter was solid as time approached. Malpractice and I were chatting when I saw it was 0531.
After the disclaimer and identifying the FNG (headlocked by Squishy) we rolled right into a standard Slims COR: SSHs x 20 IC, DD with all variations, toy soldiers x 20 IC, etc. Mannequin proved he was, in fact, freed to lead and chose his own DD variations and he laughed and he laughed. We counted off 18 PAX as we moseyed to F3 Pavilion, AKA The House the Boss Hog Built. I told all PAX to circle up, grab their coupons, and extend above their heads. Once all were in position, I delivered news of the fake out – that we were actually lining up for an Indian/First Nations/Native American Run sans coupon. I split the group into 2 lines – I offered the direction and they took action. We attempted to run parallel, or in tandem, as we crossed the tracks bearing left onto Main Street. We probably made it a block with both lines pacing well. The unfortunate part is that we ran much further than a block – probably around 1.25 miles or so. I wouldn’t divide the line again, at least not for that distance. Something much shorter and it is likely sustainable to stay in sync. As we came up on the OC Public Library, I had the two lines pull in for an exercise stop. We lined up Red Rover style on either side of the library entrance. I led a brief Mary there, knowing my plan would only leave time for an abbreviated Mary at the very end. LBCs x20 IC and BBS x 20 were on tap.
We lined back up again started running, largely staying in sync until we hit the bottom of heartbreak hill. Knowing that some PAX could use a change up, we ran straight to the dumpster off the side of HBH for dumpster squats X 20 OYO. At this point, I abandoned the idea of resetting lines and trying to run in tandem up HBH. So instead, I told PAX to break rank and head up towards F3 Pavilion. Once at the top I lead merkins until the six returned. Once all were present and accounted for, I explained Thang 2…
Thang 2 was a partner workout including coupon presses x 300 and curls x 150. While partner 1 did coupon work, partner 2 ran the F3 Park loop. My instruction was not as clear ITG – I switched rep counts and used a few exercise aliases before landing on understandable terminology. The PAX were (generally) gracious nonetheless. After partnering up, I was fortunate to land Furdays as my partner who can press a coupon like nobody’s business! We all progressed through the DORA with some HIMs paying it forward as they pumped out extra reps after finishing the sets early.
As I took my last lap, Furdays held all PAX at the pavilion and I ran with Sarah Palin as we cleared the loop and returned to the pavilion. It was around 0610 when I had PAX get on their six and lead some Mary. After a set or two I picked a HIM to lead, and Ruby proved worthy of the task. While Ruby is always willing to lead, it was strategic that I chose him. To his right was the Manantee king himself, Yankovich, who was ready to introduce our FNG to this surf and turf exercise. We made it through several HIMs leading Mary until Swag, with 50 seconds remaining (45 after he questioned what I said the first time) he lead monkey humpers until I called time.
We circled up in the usual spot, COR, NOR, COT. I prayed us out thanking God for loving us first.
Virginia Slims
F3 Louisville 