The build up for this co-Q was a bit like the build up for the big game. Usually this is a day circled on everyone’s calendar but since both Qs kind of have been off their game there wasn’t as much buzz. I like, the Cards, have been nursing an injury and have had some stops for COVID contact tracing so had a valid excuse. Dauber, like the Cats, talks a big game and has high expectations but has been a disappointment lately.
With all that said, kind of like the game, PAX wanted to make this workout just because they felt they had to. It was the day after Christmas and was going to be around 15 degrees or so at tip off so honestly we didn’t know what to expect. I got there a bit early followed by Dauber and then of course Brown Tail. We stood around a few minutes as the only ones there before people started to show up. It’s interesting to see who follows clear instructions and where allegiance may lie within the state. Those on the not follow instructions list included Holy Roller and GQ. Holy Roller only wears black or gray to workouts and in my head he has a closest that only contains different version of the same workout clothes but he labels them by the day. Black workout shirt for Monday, one for Tuesday and so on. GQ on the other hand rarely wears shirts so I guess he doesn’t have anything red or blue. He made it about 10 minutes in before his shirt came off. We did learn that the front parking lot is warmer than the back lot when shirtless doing big boys in case anyone was wondering. Asian Zing did skirt by on a technicality with a Wisconsin polo shirt under his Adrian Peterson Vikings sweatshirt (can sweatshirts get respect cause that one looks old?). I can only believe he wanted to troll both fan bases with Wisconsin’s history against both teams. The rest of the crew got there and bumped us to 18–Brown Water (L), Captain Crunchberry (W), Jewel (W), Tidwell (L), Meter Maid (L), Cratchit (L), Back Flop (w), DeVitto (W), Honey Do (W), Hush Puppy (W), Jolly Rancher and Fungi (W).
We split the Q up into 4 quarters. Dauber took the lead for Q1 and 3 and I took 2 and 4 cause the Cards wanted to close. Yes we know that college basketball has halves but it’s the only level of the sport that does and doing two halves would have been boring As I describe quarters 1 & 3 keep in mind that Dauber knows I’m nursing a knee injury that has kept me out of the gloom recently. I know he knows because I talk about it all the time. He asked me how Christmas was and I told my knee hurts. He asked me how my parents were recovering from COVID and I told him great but my knee still hurts. There is no way he doesn’t know that my knee hurts.
Before Q1 Dauber called for a half mile run around campus. Sounds like a fun thing to do with a hurt knee. Once we completed that lap we did COT in the back parking lot. He called for SSH as the first exercise. I complain about those when my knee feels fine so of course I looked forward to doing them today. We alternated back and forth for a bit and then we did high knees. Like seriously what in the actual f. At this point I think maybe he never listens to me or he just doesn’t want to co-Q with me again. After we wrapped up COP we got ready for Q1.
For Q1 and really most of the day we split the group into teams-Cats v Cards. Since apparently when the Cats are bad all their fans pretend they don’t care about them, we only had a few supporters show up in blue (see Ls above). Because of this we added the neutral color guys to their team. But much like the current Cats when your bring one year rent a players in they don’t really care about the rivalry. Our team of red had been through the wars before and were ready to face the day. So back to Q1, which was 8 burpees and 2 squat jumps on the minute followed by lunge walking around the parking lot until the minute timer went off. We repeated that for 10 minutes—not sure if I mentioned my knee yet but it’s been sore so this was pretty excruciating much like the Cats play this year. Never really figured out what the 8-2 meant but we all thought he probably meant 8-3 with that 8 locked in for quite a bit.
Once Q1 was done we headed to Mt Mercy for Q2. Which was going to be running down and back. But with a twist—each telephone pole you had to do 5 merkins, big boys and squats. The other twist was each team had someone dribbling with their off hand to each light pole. That person had to stay in front and if they messed up their dribble the reps increased by 5 at the next pole for every time the dribble stopped or was lost. I’ll be honest we both assumed their would be basketballs rolling all over the County. The PAX, while nowhere close to good, dribbled well enough that we only had to do extra reps a couple of times. Backflop had the option to use a mini ball but went with their regular ball to keep consistency. Also the basketballs were frozen solid since they were in my garage so it felt like dribbling a rock. But all in all we ended in what seemed like a tie.
Then it was time for thing 3 back in the parking lot. Which was 11 big boys and 1 v-up on the minute and then running sprints and doing moseys (depending on which way you were going). Again sprints are great for someone with a knee injury. We did this for 7 minutes or so and no one could figure out what the numbers stood for so we stopped. I forgot to mention that the playlist today was fire. We had Snoop, Taylor, Harlem Globetrotters song, Coolio (who isn’t Snoop) and some other bangers playing. We cut this a bit early so we could move on Q4.
Q4 was the three man weave. During the weave PAX who weren’t in it were doing Mary. If your team messed up the weave you had to do to burpees until your team had another turn and got it right. To demonstrate I asked Dauber and for another volunteer to come out. Tidwell was quick to call out he knew how to do the weave and would help. Tidwell did not know how to do the weave. So we brought in Hush Puppy who played for the best coaches back in high school and showed everyone how it was done. The PAX quickly caught on (well some of them) and there were some pretty nice weaves being done. There were also some pretty shitty ones being done, as well as a lot of dropped basketballs. Devitto, Jewel and I executed about 3 of them flawlessly. By the end of the time I was pretty sure we were ready to take on the Boondocks Generals. Once rims go back up out there we may organize a scrimmage.
Time was called and we did COT-CoR, NoR, announcements and intentions. Announcements included making sure everyone knew the Inferno has one more day (NYE) before moving to the Boondocks next year. Intentions includes Dauber thanking everyone for the support of the Engelhard family we donated a oven (thx Mr Roper) and a microwave to. Last I closed by thanking everyone for coming out and encouraging them to reach out to people who may be sidelined with a slight injury. We always say you can modify but having to worry about how much you have to modify will keep people away. I’m in that boat right now but luckily have friends like Dauber who will create a workout that is the opposite of knee friendly just for me. Fungi connected me with Aerobie and we are going to set up some limited movement workouts soon for anyone interested.
I think we both had a lot of fun with planning and executing this Q. The rivalry when kept in perspective is a ton of fun as well. It’s a game and meant to be entertaining just like how we tried to plan this workout. I can speak for most Cards fans in saying it is more fun to win even if your Cats friends pretend the don’t care. We ended with doing some squares for the games. The big winners were Devitto and Tidwell. Devitto let me decide what to do with his winnings (scary) while Tidwell is saving up for the Tidwell mobile. Cratchit has him lined up already to provide Uber services to Third Turn so book now for next year.
Last but not least—even though I lent him a Bundt cake pan that most likely saved both Christmas and his marriage, Airplane was not here to return it.