Back blast Pelican Q-Basketball Camp at the Abyss 6/14/21

Pumped to write this back blast. Not only was the workout awesome and horrible at the same time but Airplane finally ended his boycott of my Qs. Airplane attend my 5th ever Q and after 64 Qs he attended Q # 69 (hehe 69, figures he’d be there for that one). During this time we figured out we had a pandemic, we found a vaccine for the pandemic, we had two presidents, Kentucky lost a lot of basketball games, UL only had like 4 sports scandals, Meter used over 4500 coupons and the Mutt guys traveled to one workout. Also Airplane has rucked, run, drank, borrowed, asked for help, let me borrow stuff and other things with me countless number of times since Q #5. He has more excuses for missing these workouts than I have for missing GoRuck–they range from Vid to had to poop to had to work to don’t feel like it to forgot. The first 30 or so that he missed I found creative ways to mention him being gone but ran out of those sometime around last May. Not to mention 60% of these workouts are within a half mile of his home. I was full of excitement when he told me he was going to keep my speaker Sunday night and bring it to the workout on Monday. I also texted Dauber and asked him to bring his speaker. Thankfully Airplane showed and we didn’t have to listen to the ads on Dauber’s speaker (I assume they are built into it right?).

Anyway we got to the workout and 10 HIM were ready to go. We will list them out later with the scouting report from the workout. I did a basketball Q there last year but there were no rims and we didn’t use coupons. We did have trophies though. This year we had rims, coupons, basketballs but not trophies. We started up with what I called basketball stretches–not sure if these were stretches I did or people do for basketball but no one knew cause none of these PAX have ever played basketball before or at least it looked that way. We ended stretching and got the coupons lined up around the court to get ready for some defensive slides. I had to explain to Harbaugh where the elbow was as well as what the paint, baseline and block was. I’m sure he already forgot that part. We got set for our defensive slides with a twist–at each coupon if there was no one there you did 5 manmakers. You could see Airplane speed up to not get stuck with manmakers multiple times, also you could see half the PAX facing the wrong way when they slid (Slided, slode?). About 5 minutes or so in we switched to thrusters and went for another 5ish minutes.

I had a basketball out for show but Mr. Hat asked about playing knockout so I figured we would work in some real basketball drills. But first we had to do the three man weave–with coupons. No we didn’t throw the coupons–we held them over our heads and handed them off. The weave wasn’t meant for that so after a couple of times we switched to using a basketball. We did pretty well here I think.

Next we lined up for layup contest–full court. One PAX shoots on both ends and then hands to the next person in line. I suggested 10 as the mark figuring we’d hit it real fast and move on to something else. Boy was I wrong…not sure some of the guys dribbled and 100% sure most of them didn’t make a layup. But our team won and the other guys did burpees. We did that twice I think and showed zero improvement the second time.

Next thang was short jump shots–learning my lesson we aimed for 5. We got to 5 air balls pretty quickly but took quite a bit longer to make 5 shots. Also Airplane can punt a basketball really far and really high–side note don’t punt a basketball. My team won again (Mr. Hat, Uncle Sam and Airplane) and they did some more burpees. Dauber was complaining about the basketball so we switched balls and sides–they lost again.

Now we got to do what Mr Hat asked about earlier–knock out. The amount of air balls rolling into the grass was impressive–Harbaugh’s ball rolled to the playground once and he still had time to get back over and get a shot off–he missed of course but whatever. Flip Flop knocked me out to win game 1 and I knocked him out win game 2. After game 2 it was time so we did CoR, NoR, announcements (County 5k) and intentions. It was a great day to lead. The next part is my favorite part of the blast–the scouting report. The Abyss HIM are better than me in a lot of things–basketball is not one of them. PAX are in no particular order-pretty much all of them got cut.

Mr Hat-he’s really tall, would make a nice stretch 4. Left handed jump shot looks good–doesn’t go in but looks good.

Flip Flop-he’s got a really good shot. Something tells me he probably fouls a whole lot and would either foul out of every game or get in a fight with someone. Not sure if he can dribble–not saying he can’t just don’t know if he can.

Harbaugh-I challenge you to find someone in F3 Louisville, maybe just Louisville in general that could have gave a least impressive performance than Harbaugh did this morning. I’d tell him to keep working and he’ll improve but I try not to lie to my players.

Uncle Sam-um at least you got a trophy last year. I may need it back if I watch him play much more though. Solid effort, think he’d be a good glue guy.

Airplane-hey he showed up! He claimed to have been good at basketball at some point in his life–I can assure you that now is not that point. Again solid punter and brought the speaker.

Kitty Litter-I don’t know him as well as the rest of these guys so I won’t say anything bad. Except he’s pretty bad at basketball too.

Dauber-last time I saw Dauber play at the County I thought he had some game. After the multiple missed layups and jump shots no where near the rim maybe I was wrong. He had a shoulder injury at one point so maybe its still hurting. I could use a coach to help out though.

Pelican (me)-last but sure as hell not least with these guys. I haven’t played in a long time and am pretty rusty but if I played against these guys in a league I’d score more than Wilt Chamberlain (off and on the court combined). Definite MVP of the day–all trophies stay with me. We will revisit the skills next summer.

All kidding aside (all of that scouting report stuff is very serious) we had a great morning. It was fun to goof around and to see guys try things they obviously don’t do much (or maybe have ever done). I think we got a workout in but if not we had fun. Thanks men for playing along.

Until next time,


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