Q: Captain Insaneo (YHC and workout gear recycler)
Pax (13): Abacus, Diablo, McAfee, Little Jerry (R), Double Down (R), Glaucoma, Pope, Spokey Doke (R), Elmer Fudd, Grandpa Bear (not animatronic, or an actual bear to my initial chagrin), Shuttlecock (R), T18, CI
When Glaucoma asked me what I thought of the idea of starting F3 in Shelby County, I immediately said — in my best Kramer — “Giddyup.” Well, I said that in my head; to Glauc I’m sure I actually said something like, “Sure; do it.” I figured, again in my head, we’ve “ready, shoot, aimed” the vast majority of this thang and it’s been ok(ish). So, this, too, would be ok(ish).
Then, my brain took back over.
You see, in my day-to-day, I earn most of my living managing risks. So I’m constantly assessing the what-ifs on a scale of probability, measuring those what-ifs against the potential exposure and advising on the best course of action. This is a fine way to earn a living; it’s no harder or easier than cleaning toilets or delivering boxes, both of which are fine ways to earn a living. It’s often rewarding. But, it has a tendency to make you averse to risk. So when my mind raced as to all the possible risks, I’ll tell you, fine reader, stuff kind of puckered. Think balloon knot. What if Glauc goes, but not one else does? What if the guys out there don’t like it? What if? What if? What if?
Then, something happened.
My F3 brain took back over, and it said, “Dude, you all got this, and if you don’t, whatevs. It’ll work out. Now, run up that hill, grab that rock, and do some burpees.” I was in my office at the time, so I’m sure folks were stunned when I ripped down the stairs to the nearby green space.
This may be why I like F3 so much. Most of F3 is on a whim. Let’s run over there and do 100 burpees. O.K.! Let’s pick up this 100 lb telephone pole that’s on the side of the road and put in it Mad Cow’s truck in front of our 5 year old 2.2s so when they next see a log they’ll carry it around like the Mad Calf and Ensign Insane-o that they are (actually happened). O.K.! Let’s do something until someone pukes. O.K.! Let’s get 300+ guys to join an imaginary workout club with no rules (but some rules) that often blurs the line between cult and team and a brotherhood. O.K.! This has not been my modus operandi for the majority of my life.
That said, I like my F3 brain. I think it’s made me a better man.
So my F3 brain, or my brain as it is now, decided I’m going to Q out at Shelby County as soon as I can, so I can help my guy Glauc plant this thang. Because, hell, what’s the worst that could happen?
A little backstory on Glauc and me before I get further, though. I never met the guy before F3. Probably never would have met him without F3. That would have been my loss. He’s one of the most gracious, caring, positive people I’ve ever met. He’s funny without being coarse or mean (things I could work on getting better at. See, e.g., this B.B.). He’s a legit badass in the workouts (add that to the list of obtain gooders, too). He lives 3rd (list, add). He’s a F3 machine. I think Glauc and I really bonded when we did a Murph together one Friday. Just the two of us* (*sing it in your head). We pushed each other. Talked between heaving breaths. We walked out with a bond from a brutal smokefest that can’t be forged elsewhere (credit F3Nation webpage).
But before my Q, I thought, “CI, you never get a second chance to make a first impression.” Damn that non-F3 brain of mine.
I’ve made lots of first impressions. Some bad; ok a lot bad. Some good. Hell, my wife didn’t care for me when she first met me. Ask Jordy. It’s a funny story for another time.
In my time with F3, I’ve made some first impressions. I’ve had the chance to hit some other Regions: Orlando twice, Houston twice, Carpex/Raleigh (two Qs; what were they thinking?). I’m not sure the impression I made, but consider: 1. The clap/no clap debate of ’17; 2. Octothreat; 3. @CaptainInfactO (for the record, I do not run this handle and I do not endorse it; I also do not think it’s local (but if it is, you see how my own Pax views me; meh); I am using this BB to make this crystal clear for anyone — ahem, Sauerkraut — who thinks differently). Ok, I know the impressions I made. All of them on that dangerous slide between ok(ish) and bad.
So, my first Q and post with the new Shelby County Pax was my chance to rectify all my terrible F3 first impressions. I would fix it all!
I started by putting on the same workout clothes I had on yesterday. And we’re off….
Conditions: 37* (my wrist computer said 39* when I got up, so I didn’t wear yesterday’s tights) and windy AF; windchill was 7*. Crystal clear. So clear, I could see constellations during the workout. I even pointed out the Big Dipper. Astronomy is a nice way to make a first impression. Tights would have been a good call.
Gearlander: Nike running shorts, Black F3 Louisville Shirt, White/Silver Nike pullover, F3 Louisville Hoorag, women’s socks (they just look that way), Newbie 690 trails, Hexarmor gloves.
Three studs met me at 0445 in the parking lot of a nearby Thortons: Diablo, McAfee and Pope. I thought to myself, what a way to make a first impression. I’m bringing three of the strongest Pax I know, both in fitness and as High Impact Men (HIM). Seriously, these guys bring it every time, and they’re pillars of the community. I was pleased as punch to have them ride out with me, and to get to know them a little better. This immediately negated my recycled gear issue.
As we drove and listened to the new Breeders album (which is great, by the way), we chatted. I kind of chewed my lip thinking about the workout, though. First impressions are important. (Pretty sure if you’ve gotten this far, you see the theme.)
On one hand, we have new Pax out there and it would be unseemly to torch them with some cray cray running, burpee-laden, partner carry nightmare. On the other hand, this is F3. We don’t get up for easy. So I Omahaed. In fact, I basically scrapped my entire workout for what we did (read on). I actually thought to myself, “What would Dark Helmet do?” Yea, I was desperate. My hair wasn’t even did. And he’s the king of “ready, shoot, aim”. Hell, his primary F3 skill is disruption. But I decided I’d channel some DH, because — despite all his short comings of which there are MANY — he makes a helluva first impression. And I could do a lot worse to emulate a HIM like him.
Luckily, we teleported from the Thorton’s to the site — Martha Layne Collins High school — which is as sprawling and shiny as she is (coarse and mean), so I could set up; my trusty cones always in my hidden compartment in the rig.
As I did, the Pax streamed in. I was really glad to see Abacus; he’s a beast and our schedules often conflict. But I’ve known him a long time, and I’m glad F3 has given us a chance to see each other more often. Then, my guys, Double Down and Little Jerry rolled in fist pumping. These dudes crush it. Talk about first impressions. They make them. We say respect in NOR in part because of their age, but mostly because they’re absolute studs.
Then, in my best DH, I walked around and met the new Pax. Elmer Fudd was there super early and told us that with his military background, he was intrigued by the rucking concept. Spokey Doke, quiet but with incredible presence, gave me a firm handshake and a knowing nod (not knowing what was about to happen). Grandpa Bear, despite my imagined fantasies that he was an animatronic (or actual) talking bear that Glauc has befriended, was in fact a guy, but a HIM no doubt. He stuck around to chat after the workout; nice touch on the first impression GPB. I didn’t get a chance to talk with T18, as much, but I look forward to getting to know him better. Shuttlecock seems like a great guy, and will be a wonderful addition to the Pax.
I gave a longer than normal disclaimer, requesting an “Aye” after each statement. Then, in my best Lego Special Jump Run, we were off in a mosey.
Circle of Parking Lot COP: I explained the Core Principles of F3 at various spots in the lot, with an exercise to follow.
- Are free of charge
20 SSHs IC
- Are open to all men
20 Copperhead Squats IC
- Are held outdoors, rain or shine, heat or cold
15 Merkins IC
- Are led by men who participate in the workout in a rotating fashion, with no training or certification necessary
20 LBCs IC
- End with a Circle of Trust
20 Imperial Walkers IC
My intent here was to explain the core “Whys” of F3, so they knew why all us idiots keep doing this day after day, especially when the goal is to torch one another in a workout.
Four groups at four cones in a diamond in the lot. Home base: 10 burpees, then run to relieve and take over at first base. 1st Base: Amrap Merkins until relieved, then relieve second base. 2nd Base: Amrap Copperhead Squats until relieved, then relieve third base. 3rd Base: Amrap LBCs (this is where I saw the Big Dipper a few times), then to home. We did this 3 times for 30 burpees and unseemly amounts of the others. But, this was totally you v. you. Hopefully accessible by all folks.
All Pax line up at the base of the parking lot for Brokedown Burpees. At cone 1, Squat. Run to cone 2 for thruster. Run to cone 3 for merkin. Run to cone 4 for jump. Run to cone 5 for full Burpee. Sprint back. Repeato, adding a repetition for each set. Again, tough, but this was you v. you. Hard, but accessible by all folks. We did this for a while.
Circle up for some Mary
16 A-Rods (pickle pounders + JLos) IC
15 Rosalitas IC
15 Pickle pounders IC
Line back up at the base of the parking lot for an AYG sprint down and one back.
Count-o-Rama (13), Name-o-Rama (4 Respects), COT. Announcements included all the stuff going on. Check the Calendar for all the information. I said a few more things about F3. It really has been a difference maker for me, and I know for many others. We brought it to Ball-of-Man for intentions, which included Pax and non-Pax. Then, I took us out reminding all there that we all have burdens, some of which are unspoken or unknown. And while it’s incumbent upon us to be direct and truthful, to remember we can be both by being kind and empathetic.
We hopped back into the Clown Tahoe and raced back to Louisville proper.
I’ll be back F3 Louisville Shelby County (we need to work on that name guys).
You made a great first impression on me.