Well our team consisted of Red Roof, Face Sump Pump and Mad Cow. We were team 9 and this put Crescent Hill Golf Course in our hiding area. We decided to meet up at the clubhouse at 7:30 pm. Being that I was our Team Captain, I was dropped off by my lovely wife at 7:15 pm. The rest of the team rolled in not long after and the planning began.
We knew from the beginning, as did all other teams, that we were head and shoulders better than any other team participating. Because of this knowledge we decided to carry two extra team weights (coolers with cold beverages) in addition to the required 30 lb team weight. Face brought his lovely new army green GoRuck sandbag as our team weight. The mission for the night was to drink beer, name the sandbag, and get pics of flags, in that order. We strolled up to the corner of Reservoir Ave. and Reservoir Ave. There was a lovely yellow excavator right at the corner so we planted the flag in plain site next to one of the excavator trax.
At 8 pm we sent a pic of our map with flag location marked and proceeded to receive pics of the other teams maps with flag locations. Apparently Zartan had a faulty sharpie but with helpful instructions from Methane he was able to mark his map.
We decided to get a pic of our own flag with Face and our team weight since the rules didn’t say that your own flag couldn’t be counted and off we went in a counter clockwise direction toward area 8. We passed team 8 on our way and knew that this group merry men would have no issues finding our flag and turns out we were right. We strolled up towards the X that team 8 had marked on their map and found the flag right where they indicated.
Apparently some lesser team had trouble finding our flag even though our map was marked exactly where our flag was. Hints may have been given to said lesser team to stop tears from being shed.
We set out to find the flag in area 7. Along the way we discussed things that were very important in life, mainly the fact that I’m a Dick and if I don’t mess with you its because I don’t like you. We pondered things, like how mad is CI’s 2.2 when all of his shirts are in the dirty clothes by Tuesday? Is OJ still mad about the Team Weight controversy? Is Kilo wearing those ridiculous ranger panties? Is Zoolander still a part of F3? Will Grinder make a nationwide Q tour before the end of July? Did I remember to turn of the grill? Is that StarBaby and his team of Merry Men coming down the hill? That’s right we met up with StarInfant, Zima, Snowman, and Thumbtack just as we entered Seneca Park to get our photo with team 7’s flag on the golf course. StarToddler gave us the location of their flag for some reason, we shared a beer with our brothers and got a pic.
Next up area 6. More of the worlds problems were solved along the way to team 6’s flag. We followed the map to the location marked but apparently I chose the wrong way and we were turned back by a chainlink fence. No big deal, we’ll just go around. This was the break that all the other teams needed. A few minute delay by the Strongest Team in the event and this is the reason we only tied for 1st instead of winning. As luck would have it we passed CI and his band of Merry Men. CI was indeed wearing a youth large and he had fake flags in his ruck. They tried to lead us astray but we are way too smart for that and continued on to the team 6 flag. Once again beverages were enjoyed.
Now on to area 5 and the cemetery where StarMunchkin had already disclosed their flags location. As we are leaving team 6 flag we run into PED and McAfee, who were sprinting, obviously trying to impress us, and still not coming in first, and told them exactly where the flag was. Passed by Nino and Glaucoma, who were smart enough not to be sprinting, said hello and continued on our quest to the cemetery. After passing by the JCC and discussing how much better we were than all the other teams we ran into another group of Merry Men including Methane, Gypsy, Old Bay, and Newman. They were upset that they were not as smart as us and had not brought beverages to enjoy along the way. We laughed at them as we passed and knew they would eventually be disqualified.
We arrived at the cemetery and found the flag just where StarChild had told us it would be. Love that guy! Beers were drank with the dead and a picture was taken of the most handsome member of our team, me.
We decided to give the other teams a sporting chance and not look for any more flags but instead head to Molly Malones. We made it back in plenty of time much to the pleasure of our cheering fans.
We accomplished what we set out to do:
Name the new sandbag: Johnny Ringo
And got pics with 5 flags
In all seriousness this was a great event and all of F3 Louisville did a great thing by raising over $7K for a deserving family. I really am humbled to be a part of this wonderful group and look forward to many more opportunities to participate in events like this one.