BB-Pelican Q-Basketball tryouts @ The Escalator @ the Abyss 7/15/20

I was fired up for the basketball tryouts at the Abyss. Figured after the debacle that was the Boondocks tryout we could only go up. My jersey even got an upgrade-my name on the back. Custom jerseys aren’t as hard to make as I thought, I’ll have to talk to the NBA store to help them improve their turnaround time.

I was up pretty early today and thought I’d be able to get to Long Run Park early to setup/hide some things ahead of time. Well I was wrong, not even half way there and I see Meter Maid pulling out of his neighborhood right behind me. Then I get there and there’s like 5 cars in the parking lot. I thought they were all HIMs ready to get after it but it’s really freaking dark there so I didn’t look hard at the cars. Wasn’t sure what kind of shady stuff may have been going on in there. I guess everyone is so used to being there at 5 they just get there early (except Flip Flop, he doesn’t get there anywhere close to early).

It was time so I started my disclaimer as Flip Flop was pulling in to give us an even 10 HIM, perfect # for a scrimmage. We started the pre-practice stretching and I had each PAX give a ten count per stretch. I think I called Backflop Hush Puppy—you know cause it’s dark there. I might have mistaken Cratchit for Airplane (which is crazy cause AP never comes to my Qs and wasn’t at this one). We finished our stretching and got into our lunge walk layup lines. We did both left and right hand this week cause I knew we had some lefties in the house and it was pretty obvious that these guys could handle it (if I thought Focker would see this I wouldn’t write this but no way that guy can do a left handed layup). Well take that back-Backflop couldn’t and I had to coach him up-half a day later on slack, he still doesn’t know what he did wrong. Week two for him and still doesn’t get it, but he works hard. We need someone on the crash squad so we will keep him around a bit longer. When we were done with warmups I broke out the new and improved Pelican jersey for Thang 1.

Thang 1-11s with clap merkins and up/backs. Flip Flop and Uncle Sam went to the street to give us all a bit more room—or to cheat and run shorter distances. With the sounds of the sound tracks from Space Jam and Above Rim amongst other jams motivating us we knocked the 11s out pretty quickly (30 minutes is quick right?). Not much mumble chatter as we got in about 2 miles worth of “sprints”. Except for Flip Flop he might have ran a mile.

Now it was time for Thang 2 which was working on our defense and rebounding. I gave the exact same instructions today as I did last week for the slides and rebound drill. Somehow these guys got it while the Boondocks Generals didn’t. Took me a bit to figure out why and finally did—the boys at the Boondocks know I’m full of shit and don’t listen when I’m talking. The Abyss guys still think I know what I’m talking about so they paid attention (also probably glad to not have Backflop Q for the first time in 2 months). Anyways we slid up and down the court while 2 PAX did rebound drills until we rotated around. Hush Puppy was smacking boards during his round—Backflop was not…but to be fair neither was anyone else.

Finished this up and got to the last Thang. 10 calf raises/squats/squats to calf raise and then a suicide. Then 20 reps and another suicide. Then back to 10 reps and one more suicide. One shining moment came on, Cratchit started crying, not sure why as I’m 99% sure him and the rest of his Cayuts buddies are counting this past year as a championship.

We had one minute left but instead of Mary we did a trophy ceremony. I’m going to list the PAX, their trophies and why they got them. I didn’t have enough for everyone but I’m going to list what the other PAX would have got one for.

Backflop/1996 Southern Indiana 3 on 3 runner Up Trophy/I think he finished first in 11s, may have been Flip Flop but as we already established he most likely cheated.

Mr Hat/2003 Big Kids 3 on 3 Champs/for getting this awesome AO up and going (even though it’s really dark)

Uncle Sam/1996 Holy Cross Camp 3 on 3 champs—I know you are thinking Pelican why would you give that coveted trophy away but I still have the 5 on 5 trophy from that camp/for respect and also totally butchering name-o-Rama today. Also he was like my age now when I won that trophy.

Harbaugh/some trophy without a plaque on it anymore/he’s been getting after it this summer posting and Qing all over the place. Plus since the Fab Five had all their trophies taken figured he’d need something to fill the void…and OSU isn’t bringing any home.

Squid/another trophy without a plaque but did have a dude doing a hook shot that was about to fall off the trophy/awesome site Q and guy.

Hush Puppy didn’t get a trophy but the only PAX in the city to be at a real Pelican practice and he’s been benched by me.

Cratchit—he likes Snoop nuff said.

Meter Maid-he once went undefeated in HS intramurals and has a handwritten note to prove it

Flip Flop-somehow he can time being there at exactly 5:30 every day…hell of a skill but he’s going to have to come off the bench for me

We wrapped with name-o-rama, count a rama, intentions, announcements—not in that order.

If everyone had half as much fun as I did today then they had a good time. We got a hell of a workout in and people got trophies, can’t beat that. I heard a lot less complaining today from this team than last week so right now I’ll have to run with these guys. Also no one peed in the grass so that’s improvement. Maybe we can have a scrimmage after convergence. Hope you boys enjoy the trophies and treasure them forever. Or until your M makes you throw them out.

Until next time


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