0525 and there are tailgaters in the lot with headlights still aglow waiting for this epic game of entirely offense to get underway. As 0530 hits, disclaimer and Who-Deys given…even from a Steelers fan who wore a Bengals hat that barely fit his freshly shorn bald head. Instead of the National Anthem we would come out of the tunnel and rock out to Welcome to the Jungle with our coupons in tow as we mosey to the portico. Our offense would be one man short of a full line but you know…at The County, that’s how we roll. Our lineup:
PAX starting offense: Dauber and Pelican would be our Guards cuz all of the trash talking happens from the line. Brown Water and Asian Zing (R) would be our Tackles because they ain’t lettin sh$t get through. Diane Dukes starting at Tight End cuz, we’ll…you know. Cochran’s in at Wide Receiver cuz he’s fast as lightning and that e z bar has helped him get some soft hands. Flo Jo’s in at Running Back cuz he’s surprisingly agile and light on his feet. NattyLight starting in at Full Back cuz dude’s like a Mack truck and can push the pile when need be. Meter Maid’s in at Center, taking charge of the field and yours truly is under center taking the (Q)uarterback spot.
Whistle blows (I know Pelican…there really wasn’t a whistle…) Slaughter Start under the portico: 10 Manmaker Box Jumps. Recover and mosey to the lot behind the chapel for…
COP & start of the second quarter: Up Downs – to those unfamiliar, Dauber said that’s what it’s called when the command is given by your coach, or in this case the Q, where you shuffle side to side, Bernie back, sprint forward and drop for burpees. I don’t know how much of each we did but it was at least 10 burpees and when it was time to recover we were all sucking wind.
Halftime was called and we returned to the portico where, surprise, surprise, we would get the ball to start the second half for…
The Only Thang: Your Bird’s been doing a bunch of weight training lately and since I would be leading a Heavy on a last minute audible, I saw this as a perfect opportunity to let the PAX in on some of the stuff a gym rat might do. I’ll let the below image do the talking much like a white board list of plays given out at halftime. It’s important to note that this would be partner work and that our job as the non working partner would be to spot, push and motivate the other. Also, in between sets we would run (or were supposed to run-modify as necessary) an “all out” to the curb behind the chapel and mosey back before carrying on to the next set.
Last minutes of 4th quarter and final push: As if it was on cue (which it wasn’t cuz your Bird still has music with ads) Snoop plays on the Tailgator giving our team the fuel on the fire we needed to edge out the win by 147 points. Victory mosey to the flags for the trophy presentation. There was no trophy as there is only one PAX that I know of that is allowed to hand them out.
Circled up for COR, NOR and COT. Made some announcements and said some intentions. Thanked the PAX for a hard fought game and asked that each day we don’t try to move mountains but instead look to get better and improve by 1%. It all adds up in your bank of victories!
Closed us out with the Lord’s Prayer.
Until next time…