1/27/18 Ruiner Backblast: #WhamIsland #RuinerMiracle #TronForTheWin

QIC:  Wham!

13 PAX: Vincent (Respect); Scratch; Bean Counter; Gillespie; The O’s Glen Ross; Cutlass; Red Roof; Mittens; Nugget; Sea Bass; Tron (my man!); Mayberry; Wham!

Time:  7:00 am
Temperature: 49 Beautiful Degrees
Playing Surface: Uneven (Moles!)
QIC’s Attire (for Zoo): Gray Under Armour long sleeve shirt; Fluorescent yellow Champion t-shirt; Gray Champion shorts; Gray footies; F3 Louisville Hoorag; Nerd-alert head lamp; Power lifting gloves

Pre-WO

When it comes to my Qs, I’m a planner. I like to sketch things out on paper a few days in advance and then make edits as the Q day draws nearer before finally creating a final draft of the weinke the night before.  Similar to Wayne and Garth from Wayne’s World, I fear change and don’t like any surprises that could interfere with my well planned WO.  Hell, for today’s Q, I even did some recon at the O earlier this week despite the fact that I’ve posted there approximately 8,000 times over the last 7 months (Tron, can you confirm that number? Please and thank you).  Last night, per my SOP, I wrote out the final draft of my weinke, gathered all of my accoutrements (cones, instructional signs, whistle, head lamp, plastic bag for phone so I could take pics), had a few glasses of alcohol, and drifted off to blissful sleep.

What’s that they say about best laid plans? And what’s that other well-known phrase…oh yeah…sometimes sh@t happens.

I woke up this morning with Q energy and so I headed out to the O early to set up my cones and instructional signs. First stop was the hilly area just past the overpass on Pee Wee Reese Road.  Does this hill have a name?  Not sure, but it should.  Anyhoo, it was approximately 6:45 am when I arrived and so I quickly parked my car on the side of the road, put on my flashers, grabbed two cones out of my trunk and headed up the dark hill with my trusty head lamp.  I placed the cones where I wanted and headed back to my car so I could move on to the next cone drop off.  On the way back to my car, I reached in my pockets for my keys but all I found was my weinke.  Panic immediately set in.  Did I drop my keys on the hill?  Were they still in the ignition? Were they in my trunk?  As these questions raced through my head, I was comforted by the fact that I most certainly wouldn’t have locked my car and so I was hopeful that I would find my keys somewhere inside.  After finally reaching my car, I pulled the door handle and the door didn’t open.  ‘Twas locked.  I then peered into the car and did not see any keys in the ignition, and so they were either in the trunk or somewhere on the hill.  Panic then really set in as it was now 6:53 am, I was a pretty good distance from the O tennis courts, my keys were nowhere to be found, my car was parked on the side of a narrow road in the pitch black dark, and locked inside my car were the rest of my cones, my instructional signs, the shovel flag, and my phone (I luckily already had my whistle around my neck).

With time running short, I ran back up the hill to do a quick scan for my keys, but to no surprise, I did not find them. I then had to sprint back to the tennis courts to make it there by 0700, all the while freaking out about the situation and trying to think of all of the ways I could get into my car after the WO without having to call and wake up the M.  Just before 7 am, I arrived at the area where the shovel flag would have been had it not been locked in my f%cking car, gave a quick disclaimer (something to the effect of “I can’t even keep up with my car keys, much less lead a WO like a professional, so modify as necessary”), and we set out on our way because the show must go on.

COP

Every other Q I have had at the O has started with COP on the tennis courts, and so I wanted to change things up. For the last several weeks, I had been eying a little patch of grass at the intersection of Pee Wee Reese Road and Seneca Park Road for a future COP site, and today was the day.  But before embarking on the run to this area, the PAX grabbed coupons and carried them to the softball field next to the basketball courts so they would be in position for Thang 2 later in the WO.  After dropping off the coupons, the PAX ran to the new COP site while stopping briefly on the overpass for 5 BOYOs.  During the run, the PAX passed by YHC’s now abandoned car which was apparently amusing to everyone.

Once we arrived at the area, it was clear that moles were the only living thing that had ever set foot on this patch of land, and so I immediately claimed it as mine and named it Wham! Island (I think this is how Napoleon seized his first piece of land, so I’m in good company). The PAX then circled up for the following:

1. 15 Grass Grabbers (with clap in the back) IC
2.  15 Imperial Walkers IC
3.  15 SSHs IC
4.  15 Merkins IC
5.  Plank (normal, right arm up, left arm up, down on elbows)

We then set out for the hill adjacent to my locked car for Thang 1.

Thang 1

I “borrowed” this Thang from Kilo’s Q at #TheBlender on Wednesday. It involved doing certain exercises at a 1:4 ratio with the first exercise at the bottom of the hill and the second exercise at the top of the hill after running up it.  Here’s what we did:

1. BOYOs/Plank Jacks (we made it to 4:16 I believe)
   2. Jump Squats/Jump Lunges (made it to 4:16)
   3. Carolina Dry Docks/Rosalitas (to switch things up, we started at 3:12 and went to a 5:20 ratio)
   4. Bear Crawl half way up the hill, Crab Walk or Lunge Walk down (no ratio)

As we were progressing through Thang 1, my mind was still scattered as I tried to figure out how to handle my car predicament (all the while noticing the havoc my car was causing as cars tried to navigate around it, some of which stopped to look in my car to make sure someone wasn’t dead inside, I assume). I was also pretty frustrated because my cones and instructional signs for Thang 2 were inaccessible to me and so all of my advanced planning was now thrown out the window.  Then…it happened.  I don’t know what else to call it other than a Ruiner Miracle.  About halfway through Thang 1, I heard Tron call my name and I turned to see him holding my set of keys.  WHAT!?!  COULD IT BE?!?  Yes, it was true.  Tron had somehow found my keys in the mangled thick grass of the hill.  And keep it mind, this was not a giant set of keys like a janitor might carry, it was my car key and my house key, nothing else.  Not even a key chain.  I still don’t know how Tron pulled this off, but if nothing else, it confirmed what we all suspected:  Tron is not human and has robot eyes.  Needless to say, my spirits soared and my Q energy hit another level.

Once we finished Thang 1, the PAX* ran back to the softball field where we left the coupons earlier, stopping halfway on the overpass for 10 merkins. There is an asterisk next to “PAX” in the preceding sentence because now having my keys, the PAX convinced YHC to drive his car back to the softball field rather than risk my car causing an accident or my battery dying from the flashers.  I was kind enough to roll down my windows and blast AC/DC for inspiration as I drove past the PAX during their run.  This also allowed me time to set up my cones and instructional signs for Thang 2 before the PAX arrived.

Thang 2:

This involved four stations set up across the outfield of the softball field. The PAX split into 4 groups and proceeded to do the following exercises for 45 second intervals before running to the next station at the sound of YHC’s whistle:
Station 1: Coupon Thrusters
Station 2: Flutter Kicks
Station 3: Coupon Curls or Rows (your choice)
Station 4: 4 x 4s

We went through 2 rounds of these stations and then grabbed the coupons and carried them back to their home. It was 7:55 am by the time we returned the coupons, and so we quickly circled up in coupon field for a very quick rendition of Thang 3.

Thang 3:

The finishing touch to my Q was the old reliable Jack Webbs. With only 4 minutes remaining, I assumed we would only get part of the way through the exercise, but I should know better with this group of HIM.  Somehow, someway, we blitzed through the merkin/air press routine at a pace that allowed us to get to 10:40 before the clock struck 8:01 am.  T-Claps to the PAX for dominating this speed dating version of Jack Webbs.

COT
The PAX circled up one final time for COT.  Cutlass called the Six and explained how he had a very large car in college that had an even larger trunk filed with speakers and the like.  Intentions and announcements were made, including prayers and thoughts for Star Child whose grandmother passed away yesterday.  YHC then gave brief thoughts on how the best way to become better men/fathers/husbands, etc. is to love and take care of ourselves, both physically and mentally, and that we are all on the path of doing that through our continued involvement in F3.  Quick prayer to the Sky Q and we were off to coffeeteria and to win the day!

Enjoyed it as always, gents. I’m thankful for every single one of you (but mostly for Tron).

-Wham!