PAX and Gearlander Combo Platter:
One of many things that makes F3 fun is the banter, the pre-blasts, and the back blasts… oh and the actual workout. I wrote a quick pre-blast asking everyone to come wearing red white and blue to support the USA for our winter Olympic preview. Here’s what went down.
Q: Zoo – my phone was frozen this morning so I couldn’t take a selfie. Above is what I wore. Sorta
Mouth – still needs new gloves. I suggested he get a pair of these leather ones that I wore. He was missing his hefty bag/rain jacket from the blender. Tight.
Tiger – blue UK hoodie. Ok. It works. You read it. Thanks.
Backdraft – neon yellow skull cap and all black. “You Didn’t read my Preblast?!?!?!?”
“No. No I didn’t. Too many cats in trees these days” Go Jamaica!
Whimpy – he is a navy guy. He wore his Navy sweats. There’s also some red. Passed
Buuuuuuuuuusch – Red white and blue pabst blue ribbon skull cap. Red jacket. Jacket was probably sponsored by some beer (red dog?) but didn’t catch it. He has the best frat bro – beer threads out there. Ski bibs too. Nice.
Country boy – Red white and blue skullcap. USA soccer. Nailed it.
Glenn Ross wore American flag swim trunks he purchased last Fourth of July from Walmart for one dollar. Someone posted something about extra credit recently… I think this qualifies
Wham! – see above… But he said his were from the dollar tree… And were red white and blue, not the American flag. Pass. Also, what fun to see him post this morning. Normally he has to read the back blast to feel like he was there. Not today. Today He got to experience the gloom in 3D
Fridge – his wife is back in town and he is back at the Mutt wearing gray and red and a game face. Passed
Snowman -he wore all black, red Alabama gloves, and a smile. I’ll take it
Bob Ross?- Yes. Glenn Ross’s long lost f3 brother who had his Vpost at the Mutt today. Wore red white and blue while doing a little recon for his upcoming Q. Love it
Digiorno – lots of black snow gear. Some red accessories. I think. He was a blur today.
Left eye – He is still working on comz… So gets a pass. But wore some red. So maybe he read. The man is a stud and wears business like old-school sweats. Always ready to work. 3 in a row. Nuff said. Welcome.
CI – He has a USA cycling shirt that I think Lance Armstrong gave him after the junior Olympics – that he’s been saving for the summer… But he had to bust it out this morning. Seriously, we give him a hard time for smediums but this was like – yeah. Tight. Nipple Tight. Can totally see his M holding his feet while the 2.0s pull like crazy to get that thing off his body
FNG Fatone. My brother finally posted. That makes me happy. My preblast and pestering finally intrigued him. Decked out in all sort of red white and blue gear. He gets it. He’ll fit right in. Come back soon.
Pope- gold medal in the gear department!! Which is really what matters. Right? Am I doing this wrong? CI came hard. But Pope came sauntering up in a USA blanket that he dropped to unveil his guns, slightly covered by a red tank top which was above Shorty blue shorts that barely covered those legs. Oh… And he was wearing light up red sunglasses. Nice touch. FNG was like “wha? What’s wrong with this dude?” And the PAX was like “cool glasses pope”. Totally normal to us.
Conditions: Yesterday was a wintry wet sloppy mix for CI’s Mutt Q – and I told him at HDHH that I was hoping for a frozen Tundra at the #extender for my Q. He told me to update that weinke cuz it’s gonna be a swamp at el Mutt. Thankfully he’s just a pretty face and not a weather reader guy. 20 degrees. Clear. Frozen!
Disclaimer given and off we go aroun…..nope. Not around the school. Just straight down to a tree that was planted in front of our church shortly after my dad passed 2.5 years ago. He was a HIM. Today is his birthday. We honored him while getting ready for the quadrennial F3 Winter Olympic Preview. Happy Birthday Dad!
Plank while Olympic theme music plays. 49 seconds.
15 Apollo Ohno’s (yeah. You get it)
15 grass grabbers (gotta stretch for the Alpine)
Kendra Newman’s while I explained the 1st event. CURLING.
Opening Ceremonies over
No brooms or ice or bullseyes at el Mutt. So we grabbed stones….err coupons. Listen to Go Robot by The Red Hot Chili Peppers. 4:24 long. Line up next to 2 foot wall. 20 CURLS then 10 step up CURLS. Rinse and reoeato until flea stops banging that bass. Hard. Real hard. Move on to the next event:
The field was frozen, crunchy, and icy. Gave the PAX the option of sliding down snake hill on their tummies or bear crawling. Oh, and you started by throwing/rolling your coupon down the hill. Bear crawl down. Grab the coupon on your way if it didn’t get to the bottom. Some ended up in the creek. Just makes it heavier and colder. Pro move. Retrieve coupon and bear crawl back up the hill with said coupon. Hard. Fun. Complaining. Awesomeness. I think Pope may have gotten another gold here. Ok. Next event :
No guns or cross country skis allowed at the Mutt. That’s ok. BIATHLON F3 style is morer Gooder. Hi methane. Grab that wet cold coupon you’ve had all morning and line up horizontally. Throw the coupon over 150 yard field stopping to do 2 merkins where your coupon landed. Not a lot of roll on these greens today. Hi Glaucoma. Add 2 merkins until you reach the end line. I think I was at 18 or 20 at the end. Melter. But wait…there’s more. A soccer ball and a net 20 yards away took the place of the target shooting. Kick the ball in the goal and you win 10 burpees. Miss, and you lose. 10 burpees. Lots of misses. Lots of laughs. Lots of bad soccer. I won’t tell Sampson about your shank Country Boy. Fatone hits top shelf. Nice. Glen Ross complained that my 2.0’s pink ball didn’t meet specs. He missed. Badly. Onto:
No snow. No problem. We had flags..well a flag, we had a hill, and we had PAX determined to get better. 17 of them. YHQ grabs the flag. Not the shovel and leads the F3 Ski team on a 3/4+ mile Native American run through the hood. Busch grabbed the 6 cuz he’s fast and cuz I told him to. PAX filled in. Buuuuuuuuuusch did 4 merkins and then ALPINED (weaved in between each PAX on his way to the front where he grabbed the flag and sent the next sucker up the line. This was a fast pace. And weaving through 17 dudes after 4 merkins is tough. But we prevailed. All of us. No one had to yell at Left eye. Hi Kilo. TCLAPS to The pax that went back for the six. Leave no man behind. Coupons put back in place in time for the closing ceremonies
FIGURE SKATING/ICE DANCING
PAX lines up 100 yards apart from each other. Mario until you meet your partner somewhere in the middle. Stop and do 5 star squats. The French judges were out and they were strict. They wanted it to look weird. Wanted it to look so weird that a passerby or the dude in the pizza truck who fires lung darts and watches us get better – would stop and think this is some sorta flash mob at 6:12 on a Thursday. I digress. 5 Star squats. Look your partner in the eye. Deep into their eyes. Then do 5 Bro-pees. With the high 5. 5 more deep gazing star squats and you’re done. Bernie Sanders back to your spot while you laugh at how ridiculous we all look. 3 sets. Fun. Awkward. Laughs. Awesome.
COR NOR…..We welcomed my brother Fatone..not Fat-one….because he liked hoop earrings in college and rat tails in his younger years and he’s *NSYNC with what we’re doing. Wham immediately got his number and asked for jewelry advice.
We got in the Man-O-Ball for intentions. I find this works better. Guys more comfortable sharing with an arm around them. We prayed for my dad, for those that have gone before us, and PAX friend’s and family members going through stuff. Prayed for Fatone who just met everyone, and said that he was finding out in a few hours if he was part of the company layoffs. He survived. Prayed for those getting the bad news. Also prayed for intentions we hold in our heart and asked the skyQ for help in getting better and being better and helping others be better.
Then CI busted out his fireworks to make things a little better – which is what he does. Thanks for coming. Finally. 3 days in the Mutt is a lot to ask of an O. Oh and does Anyone else have fireworks in February? Didn’t think so. Ok. Closing ceremonies complete. We are ready for the Winter Olympics @themuttf3!
Today is a special day for me. So happy my brother surprised me today and laid down the $0 to join F3 Louisville, and so glad so many of my boys posted at the Mutt today. What a great way to start a great day celebrating my dad. I’m off to dinner to hoist some BudLights in his honor. We earned Em this morning. Thanks boys.