12 PAX In The Mix Today: Snowman, Sir Top’Em Hat, Huggies, Captain Insane-o, TRUMP, OJ, Weedwhacker, Flo-Jo, Diablo, Vincent, WHAM!, and DoDoDoDoDo.
Conditions: Low 70s, a little humid, clear skies moving to cloudy as the sun rose.
Work-Out Status: Lit
For those of you who don’t know, my F3 handle comes from the opening synth stings on Darude’s Sandstorm. So, it seemed only appropriate that my VQ would revolve around my greatest joy: electronic music.
After a quick disclaimer and a Safety Briefing (we need to promote hydration this summer and I think anyone Qing should make sure everyone knows who can call 911 in case of medical emergency), we mosey’d on over to the tennis courts for a very quick warm up, all in cadence:
15 Abe Vigodas
15 Grass Grabbers
15 Imperial Walkers
After that, we jogged over to the field for the main stage. I prepared a “mixtape” for the group, a Tabata workout modified from the 7 Minute Scientific Workout. A Tabata workout is one in which you do an exercise (AMRAP) for a set amount of time on, with a short amount of time off in between. The 7MWO does 30s on, 10s off. At F3, we don’t mess around with no thirty seconds.
We worked our way through each exercise doing 90 seconds on, 10 seconds of rest between each.
| 1 | Burpies | From standing, drop down into a pushup position, do one pushup, then jump your feet forward, spring up, and clap above head, return to standing |
| 2 | Al Gore | Hold a squat with arms out |
| 3 | Merkins | Arms shoulder width apart, lower chest to ground, then back up |
| 4 | Sit-Ups or LBCs | Using your abdomen muscles, sit up and bring chest to knees. Replace with crunches if necessary. |
| 5 | Side Straddle Hops | Jumping jacks |
| 6 | Squats | With feet shoulder width apart, drop your hips and extend your arms like you are sitting in a chair. Knees should not extend forward. Use your buttocks muscles to squat and stand. |
| 7 | Gas Pumps | From crunch position, extend legs straight out, then back into crunch, feet do not touch the ground |
| 8 | Plank | Feet shoulder width apart, elbows on the ground. Keep your back straight. |
| 9 | Sprint In Place | The higher the knees, the better the workout. |
| 10 | Stepping Lunges | With back straight, step forward, bending your rear knee. Stand back up, repeat with other leg. |
| 11 | Arm Twist Plank/Push Up | From either static pushup position or while doing pushups, extend alternate arms straight behind you. |
| 12 | Side Plank Left | Keep your body/back straight as you hold the position |
| 13 | Side Plank Right | Keep your body/back straight as you hold the position |
| 14 | Dolly | Laying on back, extend legs straight out and keeping knees straight, scissor legs back and forth |
Total time: ~23:10. This is the perfect go-anywhere modular workout. Download a Tabata Timer for your phone and you can do this at home, in your bedroom, in a dorm room, in a hotel room, in prison, your choice! Go nuts!
During this mixtape, I prepared an actual electronica mixtape:
Why They Hide Their Bodies Under My Garage – Blawan
Snowman was a huge fan, saying quote: “This is the music they torture prisoners too.”
After that, I had one last techno surprise: an electronic workout mix that I produced myself. It’s nothin’ special musically but it has a simple premise: Push Play and when you hear the following numbers, immediately move to that exercise and do it until you hear another number:
One – Run in place/High Knees
Two – Mountain Climbers
Three – Crunches
Four – Jump rope (pantomimed)
Easy right? If you’d like to give it a shot, you can try it here!
https://drive.google.com/open?id=1YgwWLD8I7OktO8Zf2Jyu2uIUMMXswQHa
It’s mixed to make sure the numbers are audible and it’s compressed all to hell, so don’t judge my production talent on this track alone.
Once the final dulcet tones faded into the dewey morning air, the workout was complete!
What Worked: I think music makes any workout easier, even if it’s music they torture prisoners to. Having a Tabata timer helped me not have to spend brainthoughts on manning a timer when I was out of breath and struggling to complete my own workout. 😉
What Needs Improvement: My cardio and breathing regulation, but also I think having a music mix with exercise triggers is tough to pull off outside in a big circle, especially as everyone gets more tired. I’m not sure everyone could hear all the commands during the Drum-n-Bass portion of the track. Or maybe they were just sick of all the 2’s.
It was a fun experiment at least and I hope people enjoyed a change of pace.
In the COT, we kept Vince in our thoughts (there’s still time to enter a fundraising raffle) as well as Sir Top’em Hat’s neighbor who is having a rough time and Pope for a speedy recovery.
I’ll leave the rest of the F3 Nation with the thought I closed with: We often say after a real snotwoggler “I hope this is the hardest thing you have to do today”. Well, I don’t think it should be. Every day, thousands of PAX around the country wake up and show up for grueling workouts like it ain’t no thing. You know what’s harder than burpies and wind sprints for men like me? Vulnerability. Opening up yourself to the people in your life and connecting with them on a deeper level. To me, this is much tougher than merkins and Jack Webbs and slangin’ coupons. Yes, there is a place in society for warriors (I was a cop for 8 years in LA, believe me, there’s a place for em!) but as men, we can’t be at war 24/7. We have coworkers, friends, and family who need us in peace time too.
So, PAX, here’s my challenge to you, one final exercise: be vulnerable today. Look through your phone and text a friend and tell them you’re thinking about them or that you miss them. If you have a spouse or partner, tell them how much they mean to you today and how much better they make your life. If you have employees or coworkers, validate them today and tell them how much their hard work means to you. Let’s redefine masculinity away from clenched fists and towards open hearts. Hug someone today (with consent!). Be real today. Be vulnerable. I dare you.
Love, DoDoDoDoDo ❤
F3 Louisville 